Thanks, Google. You’re a GC.

I, along with probably upwards of 84% of the world’s population, regularly dream about travelling. I imagine waking up one day and all my bills and debts have been paid off and my savings account is enormous and I own holiday homes in 13 places (give or take) in various exotic places like Morocco or Vietnam or Prague, and I follow the sun as it circumnavigates the world (although sometimes I decide to swap bikinis for puffer jackets because I like the idea of a white Christmas and those cool Yuletide markets).

Of all the places I’ve dreamed of visiting, though, Tunisia is not one of them. But this morning I received an email saying that, yes, I was in Tunisia, attempting to log into my Gmail account. Thankfully Google decided that I probably wasn’t there after all and blocked ‘me’ from accessing all my really important emails from Farmers and Cotton On and people who I haven’t paid yet for contributing in various ways to my home renovation.

I’ve got to be honest and admit that I don’t often pay much attention to those ‘someone just logged into your Google account on a different device’ emails. But today’s was different. It had red in it. And I thought, “Hmmm, a red email. That’s probably worth opening.”

Long story short, some cheeky monkey had tried to log into my personal Gmail account from somewhere in the North of Africa. I was advised, if it wasn’t me, to change my password pronto. So while my newborn screamed the house down because she’s going through her first Wonder Weeks leap and I had forgotten how average those suckers are, I logged into my account, clicked on a few things in an attempt to figure out how to change my password, Googled ‘how to change a Gmail password’, actually changed my Gmail password, then did the same to my business email address and all my bank accounts … just in case someone was interested in trying to steal my overdraft.

I’m the first to admit that my inbox isn’t exactly filled with nationally significant information, so a hacker isn’t likely to find anything remotely interesting in there. But my Starred folder still has 12 emails that are important to me, so thanks Google for understanding that my current financial situation means that travelling to far-away places like Tunisia is totally off the table, and even though that makes me sad, it also makes me glad that you really know your stuff.

Google, I don’t say this often enough. You probably don’t hear it enough from anyone, actually. But thank you for (I don’t want to accuse you of stalking, but, you know …) stalking? me enough to know exactly what I’m doing at any given moment.

The only problem I’m facing now is remembering my new collection of passwords with their mix of capital letters and numbers and characters and was that an & or an @?

Oh, and now that I think about it, Tunisia actually sounds like an intriguing place to visit.

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